It's funny what you can achieve at 1.30am! Even funnier what you DON'T achieve at 1.30am...like the realisation that no doubt you're wasting your life if you're up at this time...which I have realised...so it's funny what you can achieve at 1.30am! But I digress.
So it has come to my attention that I am poor, with not too many immediate investment prospects to get me out of this monotonous state...I wouldn't say that I'm completely destitute...but I'm definitely "university student" level poor. So I guess as a university student and all time dillusionist, I think of many a way to hit instant rich-dom. Only thing is that at the moment instantaneous wealth is a brilliant idea in itself (a great achievement for 1.39am) but since it IS 1.39am now, that's as far as my brain scope goes. Some would say that 1.30am for me is not such a bad time to be up, in fact quite a normal time...others would say that it is actually a typical uni student time to be up...others would tell others to shut up, and I would concur.
So short of selling myself on the street along with all my possessions I cannot think of any quick money making schemes. This is quite a sad thought as we live in such a free country.....well...everything is relative right?
I don't want to end up in jail from any sort of money making scheme either. Sure, I could knock over a few grannies on the street for their purses or sell sandwhiches with microwaved chicken and day old salad on them, call it a sub and go global with such a sickening array of these americanized repulsive sandwhiches...but both would be a crime; morally, ethically...somewhat illegally....and I do not want to be stuck by a sharpened toothbrush in a jail shower...I hope that's the worst thing that could happen in jail showers at least.
So where does this leave me ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dukes and duchesses (geese and ganders)? Well it leaves me with finishing this freaking degree and getting a slave job as a teacher....or....well...I hear there's a thing named the "lotto", and it's basically like investing in the stock market...and if history has shown us anything, it is that there is nothing safer than investing in the stock market...So with such an equitable foolproof system of equitable returns (and future addiction, loss of job, alcoholism and male prostitution) it is with great hope, a sense of assuredness and a twinkle in my eye that with great audacity I head out to invest, invest, invest...and reap, reap, reap.
Lachlan Gibson, money making guru, signing out.
ps. if anyone needs any money making advice come see me (for a small fee of course).
