Children's books and Me.

Gooooooood afternoon/morning/midday/evening readers!

So, many people have commented how offensive I am and that I should never write children's story books...others haven't raised the issue at all, with them being the feckless passive-aggressive cowards that they are...Unless you're in the latter, you're in the majority, which is the former (in which case I don't actually mean YOU if you are reading my blog...which you most likely are). So today I write for my 12 years old and under audience and plan on having a few pictures to accompany my little story-book/blog. Most of my writing is fairly in line with a Theodor Seuss Geisel book (or Dr. Seuss for the ill-read) in that it repeats itself ridiculously, cogitates many of life's problems, such as the misfortune of bird flu green eggs and swine flu ham making it onto your plate, as well as repeating itself, sometimes even ridiculously. Now repeating itself ridiculously to some may be annoying, and to others it probably invokes a headache.....ok....to the writing of the book we venture!

Once upon a time (a fairly solid start for many a book)...there once was...this protagonist....or hero if you're a little child with a little vocabulary...his/her (trying to be non-gender specific to suit all kinds of readers) name was....Boris Amin (let's combine two very well known dictator's names to create a strong hero for children!)...He/she liked gardening...but bugs (antagonists) liked his/her garden...this made Boris Amin sad, as the bugs began destroying the garden and Boris Amin's patience.

ok...this children's book is NOT going well. With building a story on a hybrid-dictator-named protagonist, some racial hate crimes will probably ensue, and I don't want to be around anywhere when they do. So with that, most people were right in that I can't write a children's book...but perhaps I could write for cosmopolitan or another highly political satire filled magazine.

Writer out.