Amateur Photographers and Me.

So I haven't blogged in a while, and the whole world has changed - with the exception of South Australia which hasn't changed since the dawn of time. But the weird thing about change, or not changing is that the change becomes the un-changed. The un-changed still stinks of un-change but the change takes on all the features of the un-changed and becomes "new" (or "changed")... Have you ever said or written something so much that it loses all meaning (i.e. "change")? Anyway, hipster is in - skinny jeans, chinos, big thick glasses, massive jumpers, the rich and vibrant colours of brown, dark brown, stripey brown, off brown and mustard. And with hipster looks comes hipster culture such as everyone becoming amateur artists, amateur photographers and amateur experts on everything that is pseudo-intellectual. 


I'm no trend setter, so my best hope is to keep up with the Joneses' next door neighbours, the Von Winkensvinkels - who are attempting to keep up with the Joneses. This keeps me a few steps behind, and isn't doing my back any favours as I sit in a tree all day outside these people's houses, furiously writing notes attempting to keep up with all the going-ons of this pleasant family who in turn sit in a tree outside the Joneses'. It's a lot of tree sitting but I have definitely noticed that what is "in" is amateur photography (as listed above). I have noticed many an amateur photographer on instagram and facebook and have deemed them to be precocious. In fact I have done up the "amateur photographers pyramid of pretentiousness" which you may view at your leisure below, to demonstrate where amateur photographers deem themselves in the order of things.

The Amateur Photographers Pyramid of Pretentiousness
note: note the pile of "dirt" the elephant is about to "sit on".

However, (<- that's called a conjuctive adverb by the way) I have decided to head down this precocious path of photography and art and being pseudo intellectual and stuff and considering I bought an iPhone this makes me overly qualified to call myself an amateur photographer. I am only a few friends on instagram and a few facebook likes away from being a real photographer. Here are some of my most recent artistic aspirations:

Here you will notice the artistically framed potato under a lamp standing on a chess board. I added the effects myself. This is called "The grim struggle between life and spuds"

Same lamp, same potato, same chess board - taken from an angle in black and white. BOOM! Did I just blow your mind? I call this "Lamp and Spud and Chess - Light, Starch and Tactics"

Chess has many tactical elements to it, I think I have capture those elements well within this picture.

Ahhh yes, the winners banquet. Fine dining, prestige and chess all captured in this beautiful moment shared between King and Queen.

And for my last photograph, my shoes. This is quite popular with all pseudo photographers. I think I captured the shoes well, along with the local flora.

So there you have it, an exquisite look at art, photography, photographical art and a potato. If you would like to hire me for any weddings, events, gatherings or just to exchange witty banter about how awesome our photographs are, let me know.

Who knows, one day I may even take a photo of YOUR shoes.