My mental illness...

So I'm back at uni and have finished my first week already! I managed to attend almost half of my lectures and most of my compulsory tutes so I'm off to a flying start for the semester! And like all new semesters new friendships form and new avenues open for discovery of oneself and of new exciting information and education...If you actually cared....Alas new rivalries have formed and the exciting 'information' and 'education' has become more 'realisation' for me. The realisation that I've been approaching EVERYTHING to do with ANYTHING about uni wrong! I know huh? You think I would've figured out how to approach uni years ago...but you give me too much credit if you think that.

I've often thought that I'm actually more intellectually superior than most at Griffith. In fact, if you've read my blogs prior to this than you possibly would've heard my thoughts that Griffith's slogan should be: "Griffith; We're at the lower end of higher learning". But thinking that I'm smarter than everyone else has gotten me nowhere, as I've discovered the other day when I had a fight with my tutor in one tutorial and ended up saying "I pay your salary" as my final statement to her after she had put my name up on the board as though we were in highschool, and then met my arch enemy in the very next tutorial. What a day huh?

I won't name names but this guy is to me what Lex Luther is to Superman... Or even what Kryptonite is to Superman....Or my jokes are bullets and HE is Superman and they just bounce right off him... 'Cos he did NOT get a single one of my little quips. And nor should he...because as I previously stated, I've changed my tune.... I have now started the slow process of convincing him I am mentally disabled... Nothing too obvious like drooling or speaking stupidly or anything...I'm really talking David Brent/Michael Scott/Gob Bluthe/Homer Simpson mentally disabled...So I've watched a few socially inept people at uni and observed what they do and have come up with a detailed plan to mess with Lex Luther's head... So here is the outline of my plan:

Phase 1. Write with left hand - this only works when the guy sits near me...but it worked brilliantly when we were doing group work and he was sitting next to me trying to dictate what I was to write...Infact I began doing this and that gave me inspiration to create my brain damaged/socially inept alter-ego.... Key phrases whilst writing included "Wow I'm messy today...usually I'm not quite as bad with my handwriting"...at this point I'd show him what I'd scribbled very very poorly and slowly with my non-dominant hand.


Phase 2. Say words back to Lex what he has just stated but say a similar word that is completely wrong - Now this is actually good fun and mentally stimulates myself trying to keep up with his words...for example he said something along the lines of "this is quite inevitable after all" and I would in turn say back "I too believe in the inedibleness of it all"....

Phase 3. Mispronounce the word altogether immediately after Lex - In other words the word "respect" became "repsect" or "repecst" and I would immediately loudly repeat this word straight after he said it....This was particularly fun when he addressed the whole class whilst we were in our group situation.

Phase 4. Say out loud anything I was writing down - If I wrote a sentence, it would have to be mumbled under my breath word for word what I was writing.

Phase 5. Stand up at all times to address the group or the whole class even when not called upon - This is something I hilariously noticed some idiot was doing a lot...It annoyed the hell out of me...and therefore I have taken it on board.

Phase 6. Big eyes, furrowed brow - This needs to be seen rather than explained but basically if I don't look frightened or confused at all times I'm not doing my job.

Phase 7. Name tag with picture of myself - This is a work in progress... but basically if I don't have something to show Lex as I tell him, "This is me!" constantly, then I don't know how I'll ever remember my name...and so I can't expect him to either.

Phase 8. Complete and utter agreement...or disagreement...either one - This involves sporadically saying to Lex "I agree" even when he hasn't said anything... well... especially/only when he hasn't said anything...when he says "what?" I just nod my head and say "ahuh... I was just agreeing"... the opposite of this involves him just speaking...e.g. "I would just like to say..." "I disagree"..."but I was just..." "I really do disagree..."

Ok so until boredom overcomes me within my next tute, inspiration will be lacking for the next phases...So I'll keep you all updated with how Lex Luther views my mental state within the next few weeks. If I'm not viewed as completely retarded within 3 weeks time then I'm going to have to resort to costumes probably.... I could actually do theme days for each time I see Lex... Like cowboys day or astronaut day. Anyway....something to contemplate.

Blogger out.